"Cry it out" sleeping method, the final summary

I have been going out at nights nowadays. For hours. And all while Baby PP is fast asleep. 

Last night my little brother, PP's Pak Su asked Tiyah if watching Shrek at 11.30 pm would be okay. I was busy feeding Baby PP her dinner at around 8 pm and I immediately said "I want to follow!" 

The thing is, ever since I started Ferber's "Cry-it-out" sleeping method, I can go out after 10.30 or 11 pm without worrying Baby PP waking up for a feeding. Being a breastfeeding mummy, to go out on an impulse is a no-no unless you have a good stock of pumped breastmilk in the freezer. 

But since it was after 10 pm. I could. and this was not possible when Baby PP was less than 6 months old. And i dont think it would be possible if we never tried out "Cry-It-Out" method. Therefore, here is the much delayed summary of my experience with Ferber's "Cry-It-Out" method. It will be long post, bear with me.

It has been nearly 2 months since we tried the "Cry-it-out" sleeping method.

Short crying period. After less than 10 minutes. Baby PP is fast asleep

This was a week after we started "Cry-it-out"

Baby's sleeping pattern before:

Playing with Mummylicious before bedtime. Winding down period

Baby PP was around 6 months old and was sleeping at around 2 - 3 am. Yes. AM. and waking up at 8 am. Many elders blame us because Mummylicious and Daddylicious are natural night owls, staying awake until 2-3 am and the baby naturally follows the parent's sleeping pattern.

First 2 months, you can't do "cry-it-out" for newborns because they want milk every 2-3 hours. If you get 4 hours of sleep the first 2 months. You are lucky. 

But after 2 months, Baby PP started to sleep for more than 8 hours at one stretch. We could just pick her up from our bed to her cot easily. 

At around 4-5 months old she started to wake up again every 4 hours. Was it teething? was it a growth period and she needs feeding? Was it she just wanted Mummylicious comfort? Whatver it was, it was draining on me. And we concluded she just wanted comfort because she would immediately fall back asleep after sucking but then wakes up again when we move her back to her cot. 

 

Baby's sleeping pattern after "cry-it-out":

Baby PP have a set sleeping hour. After dinner, night wash-up, a little playtime that includes bedtime stories, I would give her the last feeding and  she would be sleepy by around 9-10 pm. the latest she would stay awake is 10.50pm. After that, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz till morning. Bliss! Sometimes she wakes up at 7. sometimes 9. sometimes even 10. But it's morning with the sun shining! and I would give her feeding considering she slept through the night. 

Even if she doesn't fall asleep while the last feeding, we would put her in her cot and however awake she was, she would soon fall asleep. On her own! hurrah!

Yes, there were crying. But if there were, it only last 5 minutes. And nothing like the howling and sobbing like the first time. 

Yes, she would occasionally wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes a minute of cries. Sometimes you can just hear her yawning. And her kicking her cot's mobile. But she would fall back asleep by herself. 

Why we finally decided:

1. I was not a happy mummy. An unhappy mummy = unhappy baby. that is not good at all. Honestly, how long was i supposed to feed her? I did 2 hours once!

2. we tried every other methods that experts have advised before trying "cry-it-out".

There were rocking, swaddling (worked til 4 months only), singing, humming, playing,  reading, total darkness, pretend sleep, straight 2 hours feeding, let other people rock her to sleep, bedtime massage, just about everything. 

3. Her sleeping hours from 12.30am dragged to 1.30am to finally 3 am. She just wanted to play after feeding. 

4. She wakes up and cries when we move her from our bed.

5. When G-Na was away and Mummylicious was ready to let her baby PP cry and cry and cry her little heart out.

My advise if you decide to try "cry-it-out" sleeping method. Stick to it. It will be hard the first few days but it is all worth it. 

When NOT to try it:

1. Baby is sick

2. Baby is teething

3. Baby is having an obvious growth spurt and require lots of feeding 

(this is obvious when after weeks of sleeping through the night suddenly she starts to wake up again around 4 am and cries non-stop for more than 5 minutes. Something is wrong. Feed, change or sickness)

Tips:

By doing "Cry-it-out" sleeping method doesn't mean you leave the baby  crying alone for long stretches. You can comfort your baby while she or he is lying in her or his cot. Leave, come back after 5 minutes. Checking up at 5-10-15 minutes intervals are advised so your baby will know, she or he is not completely alone. The intervals can be stretch longer and longer after several days.

Never pick up baby unless there's vomit involved (yes, chances of vomiting is high when baby cries like there is no tomorrow. DO NOT PANIC. be calm. change the baby, clean up the mess, feed the baby and try again. If you make it into an issue, the baby can sense it). 

 Baby PP not crying while I hum and stroke her to sleep. 

See me hiding my face!Eye contacts were avoided

Comfort you crying baby with light strokes on her body.

Sing. Hum. Just don't make eye contact. (Sometimes only my singing would make her drift to sleep)


Sometimes, the mother can't be there cause baby will cry even more! so let the hubby do it. No eye contact! Sometimes only the mother can soothe the baby. Sometimes, even seeing the mother can start a new session of tears. There's no fool proof plan. Try everything. (i woud sometimes peek at Baby PP lying awake in her cot while Daddylicious soothe her, and when Baby PP looked at my way, i would DUCK!).

Set a good bedtime pattern. Wash-up, lullabies, dim the lights all helps. and when it is bedtime, put baby in her cot regardless if she still wants to play. So long she had her feeding and diaper change, she would be alright.

Living with extended family? in-laws or parents? 

Try it when they are away. Tell them what you, as the baby parents want to do. Ignore criticism when they come because it will come. trust me.  most important. LOCK THE DOOR! by that, lock yourself in with the baby lah. not lock the door and leave the baby by herself in the room. 

You must agree to do this with your other half. If not, it would only confuses the baby when the dad picks her up when she cries but the mom won't. or vice versa. 

Be strong and hug a pillow or your hubby when the baby cries and cries. If either of you can't stand it, get out of the room. and wait it out. First few nights, was long. You have to read my entries on that. But it gets shorter and shorter. Until only a whimper or two before sleeping.

Continue on days after days. Because if you stop one night and pick up the baby when she cries. It will only serve as a confusion and the method takes longer to work. It will work, but it takes time and lots of improvisions of the method. 

The rewards:

1. Baby is well rested with an established bedtime
2. Mummylicious and Daddylicious is well rested with more time for themselves.
3. Happy mummy = happy baby
4. Baby knows cot = sleep and hopefully helps to establish grown up bed = for grown up.
No co-sleeping required with us especially when she is bigger.



Want to try it?

Good luck and be strong!

Read my experience when trying "cry-it-out" sleeping method here

Useful links from experts (summary from all previous links)

The baby sleep site "How long to cry it out" 

The baby sleep site "will cry it out change my baby/child's personality?"

Berkeley parents "Cry it out worked but now i'm feeling guilty"

ParentDish "10 tips to soothe a crying baby"

Dr Greene "When baby won't go to sleep on her own" 

Dr Spock "Waking in the night"
BabyCenter "Baby sleep training, night weaning"
Kid'sHealth "Sleep and your 8-12 months old" 

BabyCenter "How can i get my baby to sleep through the night?" 1
BabyCenter "How can i get my baby to sleep through the night?" 2
BabyCenter "Baby Sleep Training"
Dr Spock "Resistance to sleep"
Dr Spock "Sleep refusal and vomiting"
Dr Spock "Waking in the night"
The Ferber Method by Professor's House
BBC News "Cry babies 'learn to sleep better'"

"Cry-it-out" when baby is sick = no

Night 6: PP had a cold and sleeps in her bathrobe. 

This is after the 4.40am wakeup call which we did picked her up, fed her and then had a mini "Cry-it-out" session. All in less than 30 minutes

"Cry-it-out" sleeping method weekend summary for night 4, 5 and 6. 

For night 4, PP slept well enough and woke up early. 7.30Am to be exact. I was too tired to listen to her cries, and i feed her. And then she refused to go back to sleep. AAaaaaaaargh. Have to wake up early as well. At least she's not waking up in the middle of the night anymore.

Night 5: PP had a very eventful day at Aiden's birthday bash. She caught a cold virus somewhere there and she was overwhelmed with everything. More about this when i get photoooos from PP's Aunty Alia :)

Since her day had been eventful, her bedtime rituals were not-so eventful.

PP was fed, given her bath, wanted milk, gave about 30 mins worth of feeding, played a little with her Tiyah and G-Na, tried to read her bedtime story, "milk please" she said, so gave PP her bedtime feeding on the rocking chair.  After 10 mins, she was gone to la-la land. Not sure whether she had enough of milk I continued to rock her while occasionally touching her face to see if she respond. She didn't so after 1 min, I put her in her cot. PP's head turned left, right, left, let out a whimper. And fall back asleep. ....Okay. Done! That was around 10.55pm. 

So not much "cry-it-out" method done there. Maybe my cry-it-out method is evolving. Maybe I'm not really practicing the right way to do "Cry-it-out" method. But what do you want me to do? wake her up just to let her cry herself to sleep to try out this method? If she sleeps while feeding. she sleeps while feeding. so long its not a 2 hour feeding marathon. The feeding have been shorter since I tried this method though. No more than an hour. Trust me, it used to go longer than that :P if she wakes up after a long feeding like she used to to want to play until 2am. then to the cot she goes to cry.

She woke up around 7.15am on Sunday morning. Not eventful at all. I felt pretty useless the rest of the night...suddenly  i have all this time with nothing to do.

Night 6: And then she got a cold. What do i do now?! continue? what? what?!

Instincts tells me, don't. Not when she is sick. We sticked to her bedtime ritual plus the added cold remedies. Gave her a long bedtime feeding...and I fell asleep next to her. Next thing i know she was crying beside me, she probably woke up because she can't breathe due to her blocked nose. Daddylicious came to the rescue! He picked her up, put some more menthol rub and rocked her back to sleep on the rocking chair and then moved her to her cot around 11pm (i was asleep so hubby said around then. ok) . So not much "cry-it-out" method done there.again. More soothing and rocking.

Until she woke up at 4.40am. Again. What do i do? Pick her up? NO? but she's sick. So i just sat and watched for a bit until Daddylicious gave me a look that spoke volumes. I really didn't know what to do. Follow the method? Or act on instinct? Daddylicious said PP is sick, it doesn't count.

I found a wonderfully written website that gave a good overview of how to get babies to sleep using cry-it-out. So new love of my life, Dr Greene.com. And he said

"No matter how hard it gets, you must follow the plan with two exceptions: 1) If your child is sick then, of course, you will want to take her out of her crib and give her the attention she needs. 2) If you are on vacation, or not in your own home, and your daughter is disoriented or afraid, you may want to hold her."

Done. Daddylicious then picked PP up after a minute or 2 of crying and tried to rock her back to sleep. No luck and then i noticed her lips were dry. She really is hungry then. Thirsty. Must be the low grade fever acting up. I fed her for around 10mins before she went back to sleep. As soon as i place her on the crib, she cried again. Soothe her without picking her up and let her cry a bit. Tired, whimpering cries. By 4.55am, she was fast asleep again until 10.30am. i conclude, even if baby is sick, let her cry a bit. not the fervent, outraged cries but tired cries and whimpers are accepted enough for me. I know she was not hungry and sleepy even though she is sick. but if i dont put her down. She wont get enough rest, and neither would Mummylicious. 

More Dr Greene's notes on how to put babies to sleep using this method

"If there is any question that she might be teething, getting a cold, or otherwise needing special attention on the night that you are going to initiate this process, wait to start it. If you are going to be successful, there is no turning back once you start. This is how it is done:

• Prepare for bedtime as you normally would, making sure all of her physical needs are met.
• Include all the things that she has learned to associate with going to sleep in her bedtime ritual, i.e. lullaby tape, special blanket or toy, etc.
• When she gets sleepy, put her in her bed.
• Position yourself so that you can gently pat her and make sure she remains lying down by gently applying pressure on her body if needed.
• When she begins to cry, don't pick her up -- this will be extremely hard to do, but if you pick her up, she will learn to cry next time until you do again!
• Continue to pat her, sing to her, tell her you love her --whatever it takes --even though she is crying. You will not be abandoning her, only teaching her to let go and fall asleep.
• Ideally, you and her mother can do this together for mutual support.
• When one of you can't take it anymore, that one should leave the room for a while.
• Keep singing, patting, and comforting her until she falls asleep.

This will work, eventually. The first night it may take an hour-and-a-half or even more for her to go to sleep."

Useful link

Dr Greene "When baby won't go to sleep on her own"

"Cry-it-out" sleeping method Night 4: Getting easier

 Image from  ~Girl Flyer, Flickr

I had a momentarily lapse of memory. I thought tonight was Night 3. This is among the reason why I blog, to remember things as my brain cells accelerated deterioration since pregnancy. Sigh. And only after 1 baby!

Short summary of Night 3 results:

11.58PM: Finally PP went to sleep after that flushing incident.

Random whimpers and 2 seconds cries at separate times and a sudden laugh. (the laugh doesn't really count but it's sudden and cute so I just don't care, I'm mentioning it anyway)

7.40AM: She cried. Forcefully. Mummylicious wanted to wait it out for 5 minutes but slow and groggy calculations decided PP have slept for nearly 8 hours, picked her up after 2 minutes since the cries doesn't seem to dissipate any time soon. 

Overall, no disturbance during the night. YIPPEE! finally, after weeks of waking up to horrendous cries in the middle of the night. 

So we reached Night 4 of "cry-it-out" sleeping method.

Although the title implies it was easy, it wasn't. Nothing is easy when it comes to getting a baby to sleep. but i changed my tactics sliiiiiightly. 

Last few nights i have been avoiding letting her have her last feeding on the bed but chosen to do so on the rocking chair out of the room, except Night 3 when it was too distracting for PP to be out there. 

9PM: Arrive home after a day out with PP. She slept in the car and continued her sleep once at home. (this can only happen at nap time! why not actual bed time?!)

9.40PM: PP woke up. Demanding feeding. I did not relent but gave her a quick wash-up.(since it was out of the question when we reached home)

10PM: Tried giving PP a bedtime story but she said "Sorry Mummylicious, I don't want story. I want milk. NOW"

So milk it was. 

10.30PM: Drowsy baby. Hands started to limp. 

 Before it limps. She does this. Always.

10.31PM: False alarm. Awake again. 

I just let her have her milk. Let her and let her and let her. Right breast. Left breast. Wake up. lookaround. Right breast again. PP had a little conversation with Mummylicious. Left breast again.

"Mummy? You there? Let me touch your face to make sure it's you. Here, suck my fingers since I am busy sucking your tits"

Breasfeeding antics of PP. Does your baby does this???

11.30PM: Finally! She stopped! She's not looking for milk anymore! She's asleep! I got up from the rocking chair, she woke up. Deciding then, 1 hour and 30 mins should have satisfied her hunger therefore, bedtime. Awake or not.

 Finally! Sleeping! Not looking for milk!milk!milk!

11.31PM: Put her to bed. Started ferociously crying. 

11.31PM and 15 Secs: Stopped ferocious cries

11.31PM and 30 Secs: Started half-hearted crying.

11.32PM: Stopped half-hearted crying

Another session of stop and go of only half-hearted crying/whimpering for 2 secs with 10 secs intervals

 Crying/Whimpering with eyes shut

1 sec later. Asleep

11.33PM: Asleep! Asleep! ...note to self: "Now Mummylicious, don't go to the toilet and flush"

So the lesson of today boys and girls. Let your baby get serious drunk with milk that they fall into a drunken stupor. 

Okay, honestly though, not really. Before, she had been drunk with milk but still refuses to sleep so maybe this method is working? Whatever it is, it's easier tonight. WAAAYY easier (if you voluntary forget the 1 hour and 30 mins of holding PP in your arms for feeding that it). 

The situation is getting better and better so I'm gonna stop the nightly reviews and do it in overall summary later on. :) Okay?

And now, to another new post totally not PP sleeping related!

"Cry-it-out" sleeping method Night 3: Stop and go

So we have reached night number 3 in trying out the "cry-it-out" sleeping method.

Let's recap what happened after she fell asleep on Night 2 first. She slept at around 11.30PM (or was it 12.30am? Mummylicious memory loss is at it again). PP did woke up around 3AM,5AM and 6AM. But they were whimpers and short crying session. Like a minute or two with her eyes still shut. So i left her be telling myself "if she cries longer than that, i will pick her up for feeding". But she didn't and it was a HUGE relief to Mummylicious. She cried again at 8.30AM, but i'm not too cruel of a mummylicious to not feed her this time. 8 hours is long enough.

Tonight, it was the same going to bed routine except at 9PM she slept while feeding. I knew, she will wake up later and it will be hard to get her to bed by 11PM. True enough, she woke up screaming at 10PM when she realised i was no longer beside her. Knowing its too early to force her to bed comparing her previous sleeping hours, picked her up and feed her a bit on the rocking chair. Her drowsiness soon dissapeared as she gets curious with the her uncles and aunties keyboard typing and my mother's singing karaoke. "Ok, THIS will not happen soon." 

Joined my mom in the karaoke room (Yes, with PP in tow), sang a couple of songs and finally I think she's ready to go to be properly again. Read her bedtime stories, rocked her several minutes, change her diaper and then feed her for the last time tonight. I thought she was going to fall asleep while feeding tonight, that's fine actually but PP woke up and started to NOT sleep. Meaning she wanted to play even though she was crying out of sleepiness. 

11.25PM: Put her in her cot. Her cries were loud but not so bad compared to the nights before!

11.30PM: Checked on her, put on her kicked off socks again for her. Her cries increased in volume.

11.33PM: After slowly winding down. She slept! OOhhh 8 Minutes of touture tonight? Not so bad. A sock is gone from her foot. Nevermind.

 Hugging CowGiraffe and merely kicking the cot's rail. Can you spot the missing sock?

11.48PM: Mummylicious went to the bathroom. Door open. Flushed. The siren started. OH WHY DID I HAVE TO PEE!!!

2 mins. Stop. 1 min. Start. 1 min. Stop. 1 min. Start. 30 secs. Stop. 30 secs. Start. You get the idea, it was the Stop and Go siren. Started with a wail, ended with a whimper.

11.58PM:She stopped. I stared at my sister who was checking in. Really stopped. Thank God! i was at the moment felt pity for her. If it were to go on longer, i would have picked her up! GAH! No tears for Mummylicious tonight, just guilt eating inside.

The position I am now fimiliar with. The break Mummy's heart position.

Both socks gone during the second wind. As is CowGiraffe

I am tired from the extra playtime i had with her today to override last night's guilt. So goodnight and good luck to me for tomorrow.

Ps: Don't worry. I've moved her away from the bumper, put on both her socks back on and tucked in her blanket.

"Cry it out" sleeping method" Night 2: Guilty mummy

Image from ParentDish

Here i am writing a post with tears running down my cheeks.

It's night 2 of "crying it out" sleeping method. Was it less then 30mins? No but considering yesterday it took PP 40 minutes to cry her heart out before sleeping, today 30 mins for her to achieve that should be considered a step forward, right? Somehow i'm not feeling that good about this "achievement". 

Yesterday it was all "toughen up toughen up. its for your own and PP's own good".

Today it was "i'm sorry sweetheart. i'm so sorry baby".

Again i used the "compasionate" way. I gave her feeding until she starts to arch her back. Refusing anymore milk. She was rocked and i sang lullabies. She rub her face and eyes, giving me hints she was sleepy but refusing to sleep. I decided to put her to bed. and the screams begin. I checked on her every 5 mins, to soothe her, talk to her softly, stroke her back to let her know i am around.  out of sight but still near her. But i still feel as if i am hurting her emotionally whenever i move away from her sight when she cries even louder. 

The shrieks and cries turned loud whimpers and then to sniffles and soft sobbings. Towards the end, that's when i begin to wonder is it all worth it? for PP and for me? The heartbreak to listen to her sniffle while finally drifting to sleep out of tiredness?

She sleeps clutching at the edge of her cot, right hand clutching tight to the bottom of the rail, protruding out from the side bumper, her face right to the bumper and her left hand clutching the top of the rail. Her small body would occasionally let out a sob and a sniffle or two. leftovers from before. i stood watching her, waiting for her to drift deeper into sleep before i can move her, making sure she can breathe. all i wanted to do then was to pick her up, hug her tight and tell her how sorry mummy is. that i love her. but i know i shouldn't so i just waited. and moved her when finally her grip relaxed on the cot rail, leaned in, and kissed her repeatedly. all while shedding the tears i was witholding before. 

Am i a bad mother for doing this? My own mother been lecturing me about this. "This is not the Asian way. The westerners are heartless to do this. You wait until later, she will not be a happy child". I admit, her words doesn't help my already guilty conscience. I am really a bad guilty mother? Should i stop?

"you must be 100% committed to cry it out for it to really work... it can’t really be an option to change your mind, otherwise, you go backwards and might even make things worse" The baby sleep site

I know others felt the same way. I read them. I can understand them. But it doesn't stop the immense guilt. Doesn't stop it at all. but I've tried everything else. This is the last choice. and now we are committed. This feeling will haunt me for a long time.

Useful links:

The baby sleep site "How long to cry it out" 

The baby sleep site "will cry it out change my baby/child's personality?"

Berkeley parents "Cry it out worked but now i'm feeling guilty"

ParentDish "10 tips to soothe a crying baby"

"Cry it out" sleeping method the morning after

Post "crying it out" sleeping method, the morning after...

PP did woke up at around 4.30am. that's a mere 3 hours after we left her crying and sobbing herself to sleep. I followed through with the advices from Dr Spock and others on this.

"your baby thinks "let's see what happens if I start crying out in the middle of the night," and as soon as he realizes that his cries bring you running, he intelligently continues this routine." Dr Lara Jana advise to parents through Dr Spock

"But babies this age don't necessarily wake up because they're hungry." said BabyCenter article

Parents response towards the babies cries is what decides her or his future wakefulness in middle of the night. I have been encouraging PP the habit that whenever she wakes up in the middle of the night, she will be rocked and feed until she falls asleep again. If not on the rocking chair, its by my side on our bed and i wake up with shoulder cramps and ill-rested feeling. Let me go aaahh over this article

"If your baby's at least 4 to 6 months old, you can probably begin taking steps to wean him from feeding during the night. Of course, even if your baby doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night, he may still wake up wanting to. Babies who are used to eating several times a night tend to wake up out of habit, and it can take time to change this routine." BabyCenter on night weaning

Not only i had to toughen up putting her to sleep earlier. i had to toughen up when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night! This is gonna be a difficult week. My heart can't take it!

Generally they all advised the same when babies wake up at night but lets use Dr Miriam Stoppard's guide here.

Only whimper: don't go to her
True crying: go and see her. just talk and pat her. I guess stroking her will work too (however, whenever i do this, she cries even louder. this is when i have to use Dr Spock's advice on avoid letting the baby see you! She get's even more aggregated. Wait it out before checking in on her)
If doesn't work: pick her up, soothe her a bit and put her back in cot
If still crying: go back every to see her every 5 mins to calm baby but try without lifting her up from cot.

..i always ended up picking her up. fail.

So remember Mummylicious, i said to myself. Let her fall asleep by her own but IF, if you have to pick her up. No eye contacts. (i read somewhere that eye contacts trigger baby to wake up and wants to play) No playing. Rock her a bit and let her sleep.

So PP cried. not whimper. cried her heart out. i hid under the blanket. but only after 1 minute. she went back to sleep. Of course i went to check on her after that. She was really asleep. adjusted her kicked off blanket. She really went back to sleep. Heh. That wasn't so bad.

Then she woke up again around 7AM. Immediately went full volume cries. This time i said i has been nearly 6 hours since she slept. If she continues longer than before, I'll pick her up cause maybe she IS hungry (the main culprit why i kept picking her up before. feed her feed her feed her). But 5 seconds into her all out crying, it turned into a whimper, and she fell back asleep. Dang...I should have done this long ago.

Finally she woke up again at 10.30AM. I went to her and picked her up. Kissed her good morning and promptly lead her to bed for breakfast feeding and both Mummylicious and PP fell asleep again after that only to wake up at 1.30PM for lunch.

Until tonight, my heart is mending with temporary pins.

Useful links

Dr Spock "Waking in the night"
BabyCenter "Baby sleep training, night weaning"
Kid'sHealth "Sleep and your 8-12 months old"

Trying "Cry it out" sleeping method

Today we decided to try the "Cry It Out" method to regulate PP's sleeping time.

PP sleeping patterns have been quite predictable since she was 2 months old. She sleeps around 2AM as thats when i sleep and wakes up at around 7-8AM (sometimes earlier, sometimes later) . for her breakfast feeding.. Waking up at 4-5AM is actually quite rare although it does happen Totally fine with that.

But lately, these past few days she have been waking up constantly every day every 2 hours or so. Maybe it's teething. Maybe it's not. Maybe because she's mostly breastfeed until she falls asleep next to me before i move her, that she finally gotten used to wanting to automatically sucks when she wakes up in the middle of the night. This has got to stop as I get dead tired the next day.

At 3 days old.
Right we came back from hospital, its feed baby on bed till she sleeps then transfer to cot.

At 1 week old.
Till now, PP love this sleeping position. But she's getting too big to balance on tummy.

I've been reading Dr Benjamin Spock's book for ages now. I found it in my parent's library. Edition 1979! They must have bought it when my eldest brother was due. It's thick! but it's sure is informative and suprisingly his advises were unchanged and still relevant to what you can find in current books. and today i re-read the section about sleeping methods. Let me lift some from from the equally informative and updated website that i use check for updates (although not much changed from the 1979 edition!). (links below)

While on my 'mummy time-out' just early today, i read on "Resistance to going to bed"" and Sleep Refusal and Vomiting",

On the first topic, Dr Spock said,

"three or four months old...She almost glares when her mother sits down for a well-needed rest, as if to say, "Woman, get going!"...Her parents say her lids often close and her head droops while they're carrying her, but that as soon as they start to lay her down she wakes up with an indignant yell...

The cure is simple: Put the baby to bed at a reasonable hour, say good night affectionately but firmly, walk out of the room, and don't go back...

Most babies...will cry furiously for 20 or 30 minutes the first night, and then when nothing happens, they suddenly fall asleep! The second night the crying is apt to last only 10 minutes. The third night there usually isn't any at all...

It's important not to tiptoe in to be sure the baby is safe or to reassure her that you are nearby. This only enrages her and keeps her crying much longer."

Dr Spock also wrote "babies and young children vomits easily when enraged..."
"oh interesting, such extreme" i first thought.

As said, I usually breastfeed PP until she falls asleep and I would transfer her to her cot. Sometimes from 2 months onwards, she would be drowsy after feeding when I lay her in her cot and she would drift off to sleep herself. First time it happened she was just 3 weeks old! (1 November 2009). Sometimes she's okay with this. Most times not. And when I earlier tried the "cry it out" method to sleeping, I wimped out and carried her to my bed after 5 mins of her crying her hearts out. It the tears. I couldn't help myself.

At 2 months old: Playing with her mobile before drifting of to sleep. or maybe not.

Facebook status back when PP learn how to sleep by her own (for awhile)

Dayang Danya fell asleep in her cot! its a breakthrough!!! gah! ......and im such a mom. gah... (Sun, 01 Nov 2009 16:53:10 GMT) <--PP was 12 days old!

Dayang left PP to fall asleep by herself in her cot, found her asleep head tilted upwards hugging CowGiraffe to her face. ... tried adjusting her head couple of times, went back to head tilted upwards and hugging CowGiraffe (Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:19:05 GMT) <--at 4 months and 29 days old.

16 March 2010: 5 months and 4 days old:

Again, left her alone while she was drowsy and PP ended up like this. Hugging CowGiraffe again.

8 April 2010: 5 Months 22 days:
Failed attempted at leaving her in her cot.
She played. Rolled. And then cried for 3 mins before Mummylicious picked her up.

So we thought, well I though its time to toughen myself up and let's try this "cry it out" method to sleeping. She's 6 months old. She's learning to develop habits and control her softhearted parents by her cries, tears and big brown eyes. Although sometimes its the smiles that gets to us to pick her up. Anyway, tonight is the night.

The results?

OH.MY.GOD!

I think my heart broke to a million pieces tonight. This has got to be the first and one of the most difficult parenting challenge one have to encounter!

First Daddylicious was out of the room. She had her feeding, was yawning but kept wanting to play. Other bedtime ritual done, so I left her in her cot alone, turned her musical mobile on and left the room as Dr Spock advised.

4 mins in, musical mobile was slowing, she started crying. Toughen up .toughen up let her cry .she'd be ok. My mantra.

10 mins in, still crying. Daddylicious went to check on her. SHE VOMITED ALL OVER HER FACE! OMG! OMG! OMG! Remembering Dr Spock's spot on article on what to do when this happens, we changed her and her cot, kept a matter-of-fact behaviour while my heart was feeling the guilt. Guilty guilty guilty. Thats all i was feeling. Anything could have happened. What if daddylicious didn't check on her? What if she choked on her own vomit. OMG! but i kept it inside so PP would not know it. i hope.

So i breastfeed her again, while sitting up while she sucked and sobbed. SOBBED! Oh...heart.broke.to.pieces....so.many.pieces.

Finally she fell asleep to which i quickly transfered her to her cot again. Dr Spock mentioned parents saying "as soon as they start to lay her down she wakes up with an indignant yell...". Yup, that happened. She woke up. Again.

So daddylicious insisted we try again. Leave her to cry while offering her favourite soft toy CowGiraffe and to toughen up toughen up...my mantra kept playing at me again. but like heeelll if im ever gonna leave her alone again! We kept quiet and i kept giving daddylicious sad eyes and whimpering faces for reassurance of our decision to do this. Her cries were unbearably heartwrenching. This time I followed Dr. Penelope Leach's "Compasionate Crying It Out" although i didn't leave the room. Dr Leach wrote

"he can go to sleep on his own, don't abandon him outright. Instead, keep to your enjoyable bedtime rituals and when your baby cries go into his room, reassure him, and leave as often as you need to" Dr Leach, BabyCenter (link 1)

After heartwrenching cries, tears from PP and Mummylicious, PP turned 180 degrees, various times of patting and stroking PP without picking her up, slightly more than 3o minutes later (40 minutes maybe?) she stopped crying. Daddylicious said with a semi-suprised face and raised eyebrows "It worked!".

14 April 2010: 6 months and 2 days old: "Compasionate Cry It Out" Sleeping method results:
She slept but sobbing while she does. Honestly, when i questioned this method.
PP holding CowGiraffe tightly and would not let go at all. Managed to move it a bit to make sure she can breathe.

Tried to move CowGiraffe again. But as soon as it left her arms, she wanted to cry for it and i quickly gave it back to PP. She just grabbed CowGiraffe and held it tight again. *sob from Mummylicious

It worked but you can see her sleeping, clutching her CowGiraffe tightly, not wanting to let it go while still sobbing. Sobbing while sleeping. Cue more tears from Mummylicious.

It worked but daddylicious is off for a golf tournament in Langkawi tomorrow for FOUR days. I dont know if i have the heart to do this alone.

Useful links:
BabyCenter "How can i get my baby to sleep through the night?" 1
BabyCenter "How can i get my baby to sleep through the night?" 2
BabyCenter "Baby Sleep Training"
Dr Spock "Resistance to sleep"
Dr Spock "Sleep refusal and vomiting"
Dr Spock "Waking in the night"
The Ferber Method by Professor's House
BBC News "Cry babies 'learn to sleep better'"